Parenting learnings - Feat Vijay and Sapna

Supriya and I keep observing and learning from people around us and parenting is something best learnt in this mode. I have been interacting with Vijay and Sapna post my marriage (Sapna is Supriya's aunt, but just a few years older). So its been ~22 years of interactions and learnings from them, and as Sharanya got married recently, thought of documenting my observations. Of course, all of these are of my perspective, but Vijay and Sapna are far more than this.

Patience towards results: 

One pic to reflect what is takes to get any event going sucessful. You should firstly manage yourself (your job, work, mood, ego etc..), your spouse (her needs, passion, care etc..). Next would be your kids (thier education, jobs, career, finances etc..) and parents (thier comfort, attention, support, emotions). And then would be the relatives and friends. 

Vijaya and Sapna, have shown abundance of patience stiching together the three generations, ensuring everyone's priority is well understood and addressed. 

Patience is not just waiting for things to happen, but to strategise and allow it to take shape in yeilding results. It is more of sowing a seed, taking care regularly, allowing it to grow up to a big tree to yield friuts.

Its very general to get the marriage going after just few days of engagement. With Sharanya and Pradeep, post engagement was largely spent towards completing studies (MD for Sharnya and Post-Doc for Pradeep). Being in India, I am sure Vijay and Sapna were regularly questioned on marriage dates and its timing. In fact, I too have asked them once on the same and felt guilty. Navagating through this phase and not pressuring the kids needs a lot of patience and Vijay & Sapna have sailed through this very well. 

Attitude to care: 

In the morning of the Satyanarayana Pooje, we drove directly to Vijay's house. Not to our surprise, Sapna and Sharanya were still getting ready, while Vijay and Pradeep were all set. They drove together to the Club and joined us for breakfast. (need to highlight that Pradeep did not eat, as he had to be part of the pooje). The highlight in here is how Vijay and Pradeep were getting on togther so well, with Vijay ensuring he felts comfortable in the new place. 

This reminded me of my father-in-law who took that extra steps allowing me be comfortable in the initial days of our marriage. He used to crack light jokes to keep a warm enviroment, and have everyone in the family involved. He used to take extra steps to invite us regularly even for smaller occasions of snacks or rituals at home. 

I saw the same attitude in Vijay, when he volunteered to sit next to Pradeep throughout the pooje and enabled him with the rituals and mantras. Pradeep felt more confident and stayed put with Sharanya all through the event. 

Relationship with responsibility:

sdfs

Enriching experiences:

NO when needed:

Time for everything:

A very special wedding (Sharanya & Pradeep)

Amongst many wedding we have attended, I believe Sharanya's (and Pradeep) will remain very special. Supriya and I are generally the one who are excited and thoroughly planning through, this one became special as Anagha and Anirudh got involved equally well. Could have been because they are seeing the whole thing as young adults. Take it the culture, tradition, relationships or also the well executed event !!  

It all started with this beautiful invite.

The devil is in the details:

Hats off to Vijay and Sapna, for such meticilous planning. I am sure they would have run through the whole event a a zillion times. Just to highlight a few that stood extremely innovative and special for me. (and I am sure, I may have missed many more of these)

A preview to the wedding rituals:

Vijay had put together a list of all the ceremonies that would be performed in the wedding with meaning/intent and few background detailing. A true preview of a South Indian Wedding, which any layman could read and make sense of what was happening in the center stage (yes, the wedding mantap was truely centre staged with all invitees seating in all four direction, so that no one is missing the visuals). It also meant that Vijay has done a whole lot of research on the rituals to summarize for the larger consumption.

Center Staged Mantap, with seating in all four sides 

Wishing Tree:

You walk into the extremely huge hall (with a very large parking space, enable us drive to event both the days comfortably), you are invited with a huge tree setup. At first glance, its a well light up tree and first place for all the selfies. (Yes, Supriya and I took a pic and instantly posted it on WhatsApp Status). More interesting was, for every guest to write a personal note and wishes to the couple that would lay hung on the tree. A Wishing Tree. 

Ring by bell & Showering petals:

 

All of us got a bell and showering petals, during the wedding with a small note, as to when and how to use. We all liberally made use of it, during the "tieing mangala sutra" echoing the hall along with the "gatti mela". A true temple feeling, which was felt close by as every one did with our own ones.

Customize with commonality:

Every event of the wedding had unique things for guests to improvize on their attire like the Peacock Pettled brooch (for sarees), which was also fashioned by men for their Kurta's.

Ever welcoming hosts:

Co-ordinating the marriage can be such a overwhelming thing. Checking on vendors, guests, taxi's, room allocations, maintenance, food etc... 

In spite of all of these, loved the way Vijay and Sapna took time with guests, could be short coversation or just simple waive acknowledging the presence. Every guest, they knew were welcomed with right mode. 

Loved the way they took time to create digital memories that will remain in our library (and in our brain memory) for a long time. (in case you did notice in the pic, Sapna is multi-tasking over the phone) 

A feast to remember:

Food is awlays the highlight for a wedding, and this one never missed it's target. A well spread of North and South Indian delicacies on the Reception Day, enabling everyone to pick one's choice of food and ending with a custom paan of various flavour including chocolate or mango (this is not a typo! They tasted yum!! ).

Hunger never crept in, as there always someone serving in the hall (paani puri, entree items like cheese pakoda) round the clock. Guests, could just continue talking and not worry about hunger. 

The mocktails were just amazing, placed just at the enterance, with delightful combinations of the best kind (Aam ka panna, pinna coloda or the regular Orange juice.)

The breakfast on the wedding day extended beyond with varieties of idlies (saboodani or kottu type), masala dose, shavige bath and kashi halwa (yum!!).

The lunch came with a menu, so that you can prepare well upfront and also know the order. You can choose to pick up a bit for taste or jump in deep for the volume.

People and catch-ups:

Of course, the wedding also enriched us with lot more interactions with relatives and friends, a few we met for the very first time, some, after a real long time. This gave us ample time to catch up, putting us on track on what has happened until now and refreshed our memory to the latest. No time was spared and digital updates made with all our selfies.

A big THANK YOU to Vijay and Sapna for organizing the event and enabling us have all the fun.