Parenting learnings - Feat Vijay & Sapna

Supriya and I keep observing and learning from people around us and parenting is something best learnt in this mode. I have been interacting with Vijay and Sapna post my marriage (Sapna is Supriya's aunt, but just a few years older). So its been ~22 years of interactions and learnings from them, and as Sharanya got married recently, thought of documenting my observations. Of course, all of these are of my perspective, but Vijay and Sapna are far more than this.

Patience towards results: 

One pic to reflect what is takes to get any event going sucessful. You should firstly manage yourself (your job, work, mood, ego etc..), your spouse (her needs, passion, care etc..). Next would be your kids (thier education, jobs, career, finances etc..) and parents (thier comfort, attention, support, emotions). And then would be the relatives and friends. 

Vijaya and Sapna, have shown abundance of patience stiching together the three generations, ensuring everyone's priority is well understood and addressed. 

Patience is not just waiting for things to happen, but to strategise and allow it to take shape in yeilding results. It is more of sowing a seed, taking care regularly, allowing it to grow up to a big tree to yield friuts.

Its very general to get the marriage going after just few days of engagement. With Sharanya and Pradeep, post engagement was largely spent towards completing studies (MD for Sharnya and Post-Doc for Pradeep). Being in India, I am sure Vijay and Sapna were regularly questioned on marriage dates and its timing. In fact, I too have asked them once on the same and felt guilty. Navagating through this phase and not pressuring the kids needs a lot of patience and Vijay & Sapna have sailed through this very well. 

Attitude to care: 

In the morning of the Satyanarayana Pooje, we drove directly to Vijay's house to see Vijay and Pradeep promptly ready at 9:30am. They drove together to the Club and joined us for breakfast. (need to highlight that Pradeep did not eat, as he had to be part of the pooje). The highlight in here is how Vijay and Pradeep were getting on togther so well, and Vijay ensuring he felts comfortable in the new place. 

This reminded me of my father-in-law who took that extra steps allowing me be comfortable in the initial days of our marriage. He used to crack light jokes to keep a warm enviroment, and have everyone in the family involved. He used to take extra steps to invite us regularly even for smaller occasions of snacks or rituals at home. 

I saw the same attitude in Vijay, when he volunteered to sit next to Pradeep throughout the pooje and enabled him with the rituals and mantras. Pradeep felt more confident and stayed put with Sharanya all through the event. 

Relationship with responsibility:

Vijay & Sapna have balanced well with all the people around them. Take it with all the siblings - Arun, Anu (Sapna's side) and Ramesh (Vijay's side). Not only the siblings, the spouses and the kids (and grand kids) were actively part with clear ownership of the events. Shreya was the organizer for most of the event, running around ensuring all of things are under control. 

Getting family members together and aligned for such big gathering truely calls out on how well Vijay & Sapna have managed the relationship and with a right level of maturity. 

I am sure this extends very well to the friends and colleagues who participated in the event.  

Enriching experiences:

 

Taking along with everyone, Vijay & Sapna has handled multiple events like the Engagment at the resort, muscial at the Club house and the marriage at the fabulous big hall. Each of the events was planned to the details which elevated experience of everyone participating. 

Which also meant, both have been taking time to build up the experiences through multiple travel or research interacting with right experts. 

NO when needed:

Vijay & Sapna have evolved over years and we personally have seen this changes over years. Vijay has managed to build his organization from scratch and steered it to success all these years. So has been Sapna shaping her career in Interior Design and has been goto person for all the new projects at "After the rain". 

I am sure none of these would have been possible, without taking tough calls in life and saying YES and NO at the right place and right time.  

Time for everything:

Life will always be busy and as a entrepreneur focused on building one's organization, its even more. Vijay was always seen busy checking and responding to messages on a regular basis. None of these escalated to longer calls or compromise towards the family or the events. He remained as composed as possible. 

He also managed to be in office on Monday (the very next day after the marriage) ensuring he balances out Work and Home. (yes, office also needs it share). 

Did I not also mention that Vijay & Sapna did the Char Dhaam during Summer. Yes, they always do manage time to travel and build experiences both inside the coutry and outside. Multiple times, it has been along with the siblings enriching the experiences further.   

Sapna has built up passion towards astrology and keeps engaging spiritual discussions. Enabling not just Vijay but all the members in the family. 

Great to keep observing Vijay & Sapna whenever we meet up and keep learning from them. Both as individuals and as a couple. 

God bless them and keep them enriched.

A very special wedding (Sharanya & Pradeep)

Amongst many wedding we have attended, I believe Sharanya's (and Pradeep) will remain very special. Supriya and I are generally the one who are excited and thoroughly planning through, this one became special as Anagha and Anirudh got involved equally well. Could have been because they are seeing the whole thing as young adults. Take it the culture, tradition, relationships or also the well executed event !!  

It all started with this beautiful invite.

The devil is in the details:

Hats off to Vijay and Sapna, for such meticilous planning. I am sure they would have run through the whole event a a zillion times. Just to highlight a few that stood extremely innovative and special for me. (and I am sure, I may have missed many more of these)

A preview to the wedding rituals:

Vijay had put together a list of all the ceremonies that would be performed in the wedding with meaning/intent and few background detailing. A true preview of a South Indian Wedding, which any layman could read and make sense of what was happening in the center stage (yes, the wedding mantap was truely centre staged with all invitees seating in all four direction, so that no one is missing the visuals). It also meant that Vijay has done a whole lot of research on the rituals to summarize for the larger consumption.

Center Staged Mantap, with seating in all four sides 

Wishing Tree:

You walk into the extremely huge hall (with a very large parking space, enable us drive to event both the days comfortably), you are invited with a huge tree setup. At first glance, its a well light up tree and first place for all the selfies. (Yes, Supriya and I took a pic and instantly posted it on WhatsApp Status). More interesting was, for every guest to write a personal note and wishes to the couple that would lay hung on the tree. A Wishing Tree. 

Ring by bell & Showering petals:

 

All of us got a bell and showering petals, during the wedding with a small note, as to when and how to use. We all liberally made use of it, during the "tieing mangala sutra" echoing the hall along with the "gatti mela". A true temple feeling, which was felt close by as every one did with our own ones.

Customize with commonality:

Every event of the wedding had unique things for guests to improvize on their attire like the Peacock Pettled brooch (for sarees), which was also fashioned by men for their Kurta's.

Ever welcoming hosts:

Co-ordinating the marriage can be such a overwhelming thing. Checking on vendors, guests, taxi's, room allocations, maintenance, food etc... 

In spite of all of these, loved the way Vijay and Sapna took time with guests, could be short coversation or just simple waive acknowledging the presence. Every guest, they knew were welcomed with right mode. 

Loved the way they took time to create digital memories that will remain in our library (and in our brain memory) for a long time. (in case you did notice in the pic, Sapna is multi-tasking over the phone) 

A feast to remember:

Food is awlays the highlight for a wedding, and this one never missed it's target. A well spread of North and South Indian delicacies on the Reception Day, enabling everyone to pick one's choice of food and ending with a custom paan of various flavour including chocolate or mango (this is not a typo! They tasted yum!! ).

Hunger never crept in, as there always someone serving in the hall (paani puri, entree items like cheese pakoda) round the clock. Guests, could just continue talking and not worry about hunger. 

The mocktails were just amazing, placed just at the enterance, with delightful combinations of the best kind (Aam ka panna, pinna coloda or the regular Orange juice.)

The breakfast on the wedding day extended beyond with varieties of idlies (saboodani or kottu type), masala dose, shavige bath and kashi halwa (yum!!).

The lunch came with a menu, so that you can prepare well upfront and also know the order. You can choose to pick up a bit for taste or jump in deep for the volume.

People and catch-ups:

Of course, the wedding also enriched us with lot more interactions with relatives and friends, a few we met for the very first time, some, after a real long time. This gave us ample time to catch up, putting us on track on what has happened until now and refreshed our memory to the latest. No time was spared and digital updates made with all our selfies.

A big THANK YOU to Vijay and Sapna for organizing the event and enabling us have all the fun.

An unpredictable world..

 

19-Sep-2026, ~11am Mr Joshi (70+)

19-Sep-2026, ~4pm Mr Xavier (70+) 

20-Sep-2026, ~10am Mr Sripada (53)

All three gentlemen passed at this time (all within 24 hours)

All due to Cardiac Arrest. 

While Mr Joshi was residing on 6th Cross, Mr Xavier and Mr Sripada were residing on 4th Cross, near 6th Main of Postal Colony. 

We knew all of them and their families.

And all of it unfolded on Sunday (20th) morning. Lakshmi, the BBMP lady in the morning revealed about Mr Joshi's news. Supriya and I were meeting Mr and Mrs Joshi at Raghavendra Matt almost every Thursday. As Mr Joshi was from North Karnataka,  Supriya always found a connect through the common dialect. We knew that few months back, he had gone through an Open Heart Surgery and had been recoverring well. But this event comes as a suprise.

Just minutes later we observed a gathering near Mr Xavier's house and realized that he had passed away the previous evening. Folks got to know and started visiting in the morning. Supriya and I had visited his home last Christmas and had long chats on travel and spritual areas. Being Catholics, he and his wife had visited Jerusalem & Bethalem and we could conect on the same. ( Connect with Mr Xavier)

Later the day we had been to Malleswaram to attend a Birthday Party (First year celebration). When we came back home, we saw lot of commotion on 4th cross and assumed it was for Mr Xavier. To our shock it was Mr Sripada who passed away in the morning due to Cardiac arrest. Mr Sripada is brother-in-law of Sri Shivaprasad (Shivu, the priest at Ganapathi temple). We have often seen him in the temple doing pooja either with Mr Shivu or in his absence. We have been interacting with him and his family during festivities and exchanging invites. He also happened to be the only person with RE Bullet on 4th Cross, sharing the riding passion.

A day when we mourned three deaths and also celebrated a birthday. 

How unpredicatable life is...  

Interesting, how we connect..

 A typical Saturday evening, I stepped out once to pick up groceries and later again to pick up a Birthday gift for an event the next day. And once again, as I had forgotten to pick up the pant from the tailor. And during the last ride back, it just stuck to me, why did we did miss inviting this family for Ganesh Chaturthi.  

This family happens to be Mr Xavier (Catholic family) who stay down our road. The thinking was triggered as they had invited us for Christmas (in 2025) so that we can see the decorated Christmas Tree. It has been almost 6 years since we have moved to this place, we still are figuring out and getting to know the neighborhood. Thanks to Covid, our move in 2020 was quite silent and with limited interactions. 

Xavier's grand kids often played with Anirudh. They all liked football and hence the quick connect. Yes, the kids get along faster as the expections are limited. Even though Anirudh is officially in college, he still takes time in the weekend, to play with them for few minutes. 

It was through Anirudh that we got the invite for the Christmas. We got along well, even on our first interaction. A long converstaion exchanging experiences, mostly trips outside of India. Xavier and his wife have traveled a lot. A little more was around Jerusalem, Israel as we could relate more. Supriya and I were always Awed with details of how Jesus's Via Doloros (the path taken to his cruicification) has been preserved both historical and relegious needs. Xavier family could connect more religiously to Jerusalem as we to History. (Bethlahem was not in our visit, as it was in Palestine)  

Ganesh Chaturthi was last Monday, and it has been almost a week. Why did I get the thought of missing out to invite, or should we at all have invited them, or should we invite then for the next event? 

Today (Sunday) morning, we got to know that Xavier had passed away yesterday evening (4:30pm). Visited his home and Supriya spent some time talking to Mrs Xavier. Apparently, we got to know from her, that Xavier was keen on coming over to our place for Ganesh Chaturti. 

As we speculated, more, Supriya said "I did not even know, it they were Ok to be part of our festivity". Yes, they were very relegious but I found them equally spiritual. Still remember Xavier talking about a miracle in a way his daughter's birth was predicted by a Saint/Father in Tamil Nadu. Also the time his wife had issues with health, and how he got (spriritual) directions in avoiding a surgery. 

The more, I think, its very surprising, how people connect, inspite having different belief systems and opposite thoughts. 

We will be missing Mr Xavier and his pratical approach towards life. 

Is personal blogging dying (or dead)?

The single lines update (Twitter), short sentences (Facebook) or the newness (Google+) seem to have put blogging into the back seat. I have been visiting most of the blogs that I kept track on about 2-3 year back and they seem to have become silent.

A mode where one could put a detailed thinking, gather right data, share them with depth ... is being lost :(

Like the email taking over the snail mails. Technology is certainly moving fast !!

PS: Now I have to tag this blog so that it reflects in FB/G+ :)

Celebrating festivals

"Why is that we celebrate festivals" - This has been a thought wandering in my mind for quite some time. Thought of extending it more and blog it.

The snap I have here is of my daughter, Anagha handing over "yellu" to her grandmother. This is the usually traditional practise (in Bangalore, and if you were to be localite of Bangalore) to exchange "yellu" during the festival of "Sankranthi". Usually more popular among the girls, as they go around the neighbourhood during the evenings, sharing "yellu" and taking blessing from the elders. Being a boy, my only job was only to eat "yellu", particularly the collection we would get from the neighbour hood.

Some how this year it ended up being very different. My wife, Supriya took all the pains of preparing it fresh at home (as against to picking up from Malleshwaram, which is such a easy job). On the festive day, we followed all the rituals of pooja and began our trip of visiting relatives in the city. As Anagha loves travelling and meeting people, she was in an exciting mood the whole day. We just loved seeing her handing over our "yellu" and collecting them (was more happier while collecting).

The day ended with a good dinner (with all the specials sweets that was cooked at home) and a little sense of acheivement as parents.

Until Anagha was born (or until I got married), the pattern was so different from what we did that day. Supriya and I had put in all our efforts doing what all our parents did when we were kids. And I guess this is one of the easy ways of passing our culture and tradition to the new generation and (also) enjoying the same.

Running into my memories of Avedat, Israel

I was going through some of the snaps I had taken during my visit to Israel in 2004. This one posted here is taken in the deserts of southern Israel, in a place called Avedat.

Avedat was one of the key stops for the traders who travelled by the Spice Route (Route taken by traders for getting spices into Europe from India).
The residents of Avedat knew the desert very well and were the one who were guiding the traders in the desert. . Over a period of time, this places grew to become one of the key trading region in the areas of Israel.

As of today, this is just a tourist spot in the middle of the desert. One can see houses carved out in the moutain, and remains of a fortress on the top. There is a video (with English subtitles) at the tourist center giving an insight into the history.

This picture is taken in one of the houses carved in the mountain. Transition is one word that I can think of, seeing this picture. (Tuely reflecting my current phase, as I prepare for a long term assignment to US.)

Long time no see

Almost 2 months since I blogged anything. Was too busy with personal life and career. The major highlight being the birthday celebration of my daughter Anagha on 29th Oct.

Did some traveling too. First one to Chennai for my Visa, next one was to Portland for a business trip and finally to Pilani for my MS program. Yes, finally after a big gap of 2 years managed to get my post-graduation from Pilani. A sense of achievement which I would have not felt if I were to have completed it being a bachelor.

I am also back to my bed time reading and recently finished "Vamshavriksha" from SL Byrappa. In my next blog, I will try to put in my comments.

Now getting back to my code...